The Confidence Trick

How would you rate your confidence level?

Writing prompt of the day

Confidence is a weird thing for us Neurodivergent types. We spend our childhoods being told that we’re doing everything wrong. Then we become either timid, or rebellious teens, and whichever we choose that’s wrong too. Then we’re anxious adults desperately pretending to be whomever it is that everyone is expecting us to be. And then some bastard tells us that the secret to confidence is to “just be yourself.”

A lot of people who know me would tell you that I must have overcome that because I’m very confident now. It’s not true. I haven’t felt genuine confidence since I was three years old. I was a very confident toddler but it was all wasted then. When you’re three it doesn’t really count as confidence, it’s just being bossy.

What I do know is to fake confidence. I worked out a while ago that most people can’t tell the difference between real confidence and fake confidence. Fake confidence is easier than it seems too. At least 80% of fake confidence is deciding not to fear looking like an idiot. A further 10% is knowing how to step back from mistakes that make you look like an idiot in a graceful enough way that people forget what mistake you made. The rest of it is mostly just being simultaneously loud and polite.

Of course there’s the other kind of confidence – the confidence in something. So how would I rate my confidence in, say, my writing? Simultaneously very high and rock bottom. My default belief about my own writing is somehow both that I’m a genius and I should be a millionaire and winner of all the literary prizes, and also that I’m the worst kind of hack and I’m lucky that anyone reads anything I write.

It’s probably my neurodivergence again.

Coffee and Tea

This is not about writing. This is about T-shirts.

I enjoy designing t-shirts and okay, if I’m totally honest, it’s still writing because the t-shirts do have words on them. It’s taken me a while to find a way to put my designs out in the world without costing me any money. So far it seems like I can list my designs on Teespring without having to pay up front as long as I don’t want a shop front.

In my last post I mentioned the Zeppelin Watch design from my other blog. Well some people have actually bought some. People other than me. I might actually see some of the money. So I’ve listed another couple of designs.

Choose your fuel – Coffee or Tea? Vengeance or Rage?

Those are photographs I took (apart from the Zeppelin Watch one which is in the public domain). The words are my own. You can buy the t-shirts, totes, masks and mugs safe in the knowledge that you’re supporting me in my writing and you’re not ripping off anyone’s intellectual property.

I particularly recommend the mugs and the hoodies.